Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

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Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

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If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

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When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

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If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

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The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.