Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Imagine being social on social media.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Just landed via Facebook:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Seen just now on Threads:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Going bananas on Threads:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Trending via Messenger:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Trending via Messenger:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, so that's why Mondays feel like a glitch in the matrix! 😅🔧🚀"

abandoned, abandonment, biological, biological weapon, dark, dark humor, development, early, engineering, humanity, humor, left, satire, weapon

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

0

2 months ago

day, day off, done, holiday, humor, kids, parenting, sarcasm, shit, veteran’s, Veteran’s Day, work
How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

0

2 months ago

anticipation, day, disappointment, expectation, family, fun, humor, time, travel, vacation
I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

0

2 months ago

activity, climb, desire, funny perspective, humor, i, perspective, problem, problem-solving, rock, rock climb, solving, stairs, understand
Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

0

2 months ago

around, dishwasher, domestic, domestic life, humor, life, load, properly, relationship, women
The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

0

2 months ago

autonomy, behavior, bodily, bodily autonomy, concept, dominance, everyday, everyday humor, hand, hand dominance, hands, helping, hilarious, human, human behavior, humor, just, me, observation, personality, personality traits, playful, playful observation, traits
If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

0

2 months ago

anyone, billboard, company, decide, ever, humor, i, invest, investment, joke, lottery, secret, signs, tell, wealth, win

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Discord this month:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

48 shares on X this month:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

11 shares on WeChat this month:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Making waves on Twitch:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Going bananas on Slack:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Shared recently on Discord:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Just landed via Twitch:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Trending via WeChat:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Going viral on TikTok:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Just landed via TikTok:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨