Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Trending via Slack:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Going viral on Telegram:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Going viral on YouTube:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Just landed via Snapchat:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Shared recently on Twitch:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Making waves on Instagram:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, so that's why Mondays feel like a glitch in the matrix! 😅🔧🚀"

abandoned, abandonment, biological, biological weapon, dark, dark humor, development, early, engineering, humanity, humor, left, satire, weapon

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

0

5 months ago

carry, case, childhood, daughter, having, humor, just, making, memory, nostalgia, parent, payphone, quarter, remember
I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

0

2 months ago

comedy, hilariou, humor, joke, laugh, own, self-deprecation, witty
“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

0

3 months ago

attitude, humor, i, job, laziness, motivation, never, nobody, wanted, wants, work
Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

0

2 months ago

entertainment, fun, humor, media, most, relaxation, social, social media, toilet, Twitter
Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

0

2 months ago

anticipation, bed, claus, democracy, left, morning, results, wait, watch
I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

0

2 months ago

adventure, all inclusive, desperation, escape, humor, ID, inclusive, jurassic, Jurassic Park, park, point, spend, theme, theme park, travel, vacation, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

62 shares on X this month:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Shared recently on Threads:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Seen just now on Twitch:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Spotted on Telegram:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨