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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

332 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,925

Funny Quotes Topics

17,098

Funny Quotes Images

14,925

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,949

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Making waves on Threads:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Trending via Slack:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I was dropped as an adult.

Going viral on Facebook:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Just shared via Telegram:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs alarm clocks when you have a responsible host like this? 🚔💤 #PartyPooped"

bed, cops, humor, i, late, late night, night, own, party, ready, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

2 months ago

age, always, fast, humor, i, life, old, realization, surprise, time
“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

1 month ago

arrogance, better, comparison, confidence, else, everyone, humor, humor quote, joy, sarcasm, self-esteem, thief, well
“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

4 months ago

advice, authenticity, humor, just, me, mixed, mixed result, past, result, results, self
You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

1 month ago

crack, dark, ever, expectation, glow, good, humor, knees, me, relatable, too
Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

2 months ago

activity, bending, bending over, bungee, bungee jump, funny activity, hair, hair tie, humor, jump, jumping, lightheartedness, microdosing, over, risk, thrill, tie
Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

1 month ago

activity, board, call, calls, fun, funny activity, ghost, ghosts, humor, ouija, Ouija Board, paranormal, paranormal humor, phone, phone call, spooky, spooky fun, unannounced, unannounced call

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Making waves on Instagram:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Just landed via Discord:

Friends with consequences.

Seen just now on YouTube:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Just shared via Telegram:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Freshly posted on X:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Source??? Pattern recognition.

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

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I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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