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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,247

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Going viral on Messenger:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Going bananas on Discord:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Making waves on X:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Spotted on X:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Just shared via TikTok:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

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I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the anticipation of a mother's kitchen scrutiny! 🤣🍴 It's like a rite of passage, right? Who else is eagerly awaiting the inevitable rearrangement of kitchen cupboards and drawers? 🙋‍♂️ #MomKnowsBest #KitchenMakeover"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

88 shares on Threads this month:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

77 shares on Threads this month:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

19 shares on X this month:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

22 shares on X this month:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,707

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Going viral on TikTok:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Making waves on Instagram:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Making waves on Discord:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Making waves on Telegram:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Just shared via Twitch:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Spotted on WeChat:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

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