Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like magic runs in the family… and so does the disappearing act! 🎩✨🔮 Poor sisters, they must be tired of pulling those rabbits out of the hat! 🐇😂"

failure, family, half, humor, i, joke, magic, magician, sibling, sister

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

0

2 months ago

afternoon, caffeine, coffee, humor, late, me, productivity, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension, workday
A real smartphone would cut you off.

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4 months ago

communication, cut, humor, real, sarcasm, smartphone, technology
Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

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2 months ago

call, crazy, happy, humor, me, people, positivity, self-perception, twist
“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

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2 months ago

auto, auto mechanic, car, car repair, cardiologist, doctor, fancy, funny question, humor, joke, mechanic, medical, name, profession, question, repair
British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

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3 days ago

born, British, British culture, chest, culture, hair, ham, humor, i, man, moved, name, people, place, place name, pun, stall, stereotype, university, woke, wordplay
I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

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2 months ago

humor, i, internet, love, microwave, normal, personality, quirky, raised, social, technology, unfortunately, upbringing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

82 shares on Slack this month:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

31 shares on Discord this month:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

20 shares on Telegram this month:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Just landed via YouTube:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Shared recently on Slack:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Just landed via TikTok:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Trending via Threads:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨