I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.