Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.
  • I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.
  • Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.
  • My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.
  • Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?
  • I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.