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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,252

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Just shared via Facebook:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Trending via WeChat:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Just landed via X:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Shared recently on Threads:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Spotted on Messenger:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why rush perfection when impatience does it faster? ⏰🤷‍♂️😂

humor, i, impatience, patience, time, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

0

3 months ago

4, 4 a.m., a.m., am, disturbing, early, early riser, exercise, humor, morning, morning routine, most, people, purpose, riser, routine, thing, waking, waking up
Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

0

2 months ago

art, humor, laziness, procrastination, relaxation, rest, tired
The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

0

2 months ago

amazing, correct, details, do it, even, haters, humor, i, irony, right, self-deprecation, small
I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

0

2 months ago

getting, hot, hotter, i, inform, just, plan, regret, weird
We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

0

5 months ago

before, humor, irony, life, nostalgia, phone, phones, remind, technology, us, video, videos, watch
Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

0

2 months ago

call, everything, excuse, humor, i, missed, missed call, phone, procrastination, ring, ringing, ringing phone, sorry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Telegram this month:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

66 shares on Discord this month:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

89 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

17 shares on Discord this month:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Trending via WeChat:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Shared recently on Discord:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Spotted on WeChat:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Seen just now on Threads:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Just landed via Slack:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Seen just now on Discord:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Just landed via Facebook:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨