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Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,997

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Just landed via Reddit:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Spotted on Facebook:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Going bananas on X:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Live now on Telegram:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Going viral on Slack:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why rush perfection when impatience does it faster? ⏰🤷‍♂️😂

humor, i, impatience, patience, time, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

1 month ago
adulthood, baby, baby deer, bed, deer, every, experience, getting, getting out of bed, humor, learning, life, life experience, me, morning, nothing, prepared, relatable, struggle, time, walk, where
They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

1 month ago
another, comedy, dinosaurs, film, guess, humor, jurassic, let, loose, me, movie, sequel
I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

1 month ago
annoy, difficult, expectations, getting, humor, i, man, me, nerf, relationship, want
My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

2 weeks ago
alone, awkwardness, blair, Blair Witch, corner, dinner, family, humor, role, Thanksgiving, witch
One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

3 months ago
disappointment, expectation, humor, most, severe, things, thunderstorm, warning, weather
Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

1 month ago
boundary, change, changes, growth, hear, humor, life, making, me, personal, personal growth, relationship

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Going viral on Discord:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Going viral on Instagram:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Just shared via Messenger:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Just landed via Discord:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

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Activity Log ✨

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

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I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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