Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Live now on Reddit:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Shared recently on Discord:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Going viral on YouTube:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Live now on Snapchat:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, I guess that rules out conversations with ice cubes! ❄️😆 Keep it cool and carry a thermometer, folks! 🌡️😜"

humor, i, intelligence, interaction, IQ, people, room, room temperature, social, social interaction, talking, temperature

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

0

2 months ago

Alexa, anything, conversation, conversations, humor, joke, listen, listening, making, male, male version, privacy, technology, version, want
Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

0

2 months ago

being, cool, humor, motorcycle, music, piano, shout, shout out, vehicle, Yamaha
Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

0

5 months ago

bro, casual, casual conversation, conversation, Dre, forget, humor, just, question, seriously, surprise
Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, body, body image, call, compliment, elephants, fat, forget, girl, humor, image, memory, self-esteem, times
Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

0

2 months ago

26, days, destiny, getting, paid, times
Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

0

1 month ago

black, Black Friday, extension, Friday, humor, oh, sale, sarcasm, shopping, Tuesday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on X this month:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

39 shares on Slack this month:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

65 shares on Threads this month:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

98 shares on Discord this month:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

88 shares on X this month:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Breaking via Facebook:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Trending via TikTok:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Trending via Threads:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Spotted on Threads:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Making waves on Instagram:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Spotted on Reddit:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨