Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Zoidberg is probably just misunderstood crustacean with a heart of gold…and probably a few shells too! 🦞 Don't be shellfish, show some love for our underappreciated lobster-like friend! 🌊 #ZoidbergDeservesBetter"

character, empathy, Futurama, humor, i, mean, sad, show, TV, TV Show, whenever, Zoidberg

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

0

3 months ago

comparison, every, humor, pattern, people, personality, repetition, same, time, wallpaper
A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

0

2 months ago

body, clumsiness, feet, funny moment, guy, humor, i, just, leap, lot, me, moment, over, own, parking, parking lot, quantum, quantum leap, saw, self-deprecation, trip, unexpected, wit
Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

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2 months ago

guys, humor, identity, moth, names, nickname, Tim, Timothy, wordplay
I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

0

2 months ago

brag, celebrity, creation, dream, God, humor, i, making, pascal, pedro, Pedro Pascal, saw
The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

0

2 months ago

being, book, details, dumb, dumb shit, humor, important, important details, life, open, open book, overshare, people, person, private, private person, secret, shit, tell, think
Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, chips, french fries, vegetable, vodka

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

21 shares on Discord this month:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

40 shares on X this month:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Live now on WhatsApp:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Making waves on Instagram:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Just landed via Telegram:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Going viral on Slack:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Just shared via Instagram:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Just landed via Messenger:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Trending via Threads:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Trending via Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨