Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.
  • I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.
  • Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.
  • A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.
  • Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.
  • Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.