Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Just shared via Facebook:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Just shared via Slack:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Breaking via YouTube:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Going viral on Facebook:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Freshly posted on X:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

1 week ago

Humorous text about garlic cloves resembling tiny paperwork hassles. Playfully witty and funny.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, fresh garlic – nature's way of saying, "I hope you like puzzles!" 🧄📝 Dealing with those finicky cloves can feel like navigating a bureaucratic maze of paperwork, complete with the occasional garlic-scented paper cut. Who knew such small bulbs could be so demanding? 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️ #GarlicProblems #KitchenStruggles

clove, cooking, fresh, frustration, garlic, hate, humor, i, little, paperwork

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

61 shares on X this month:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I disagree with my politics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Just landed via Facebook:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Spotted on Facebook:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Live now on Pinterest:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Just shared via WeChat:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Spotted on Instagram:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Going viral on Slack:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Just shared via X:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

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