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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

69 but we both just farting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Just shared via YouTube:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Just shared via Twitch:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Just landed via Slack:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Going viral on Messenger:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

6 months ago

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, fresh garlic – nature's way of saying, "I hope you like puzzles!" 🧄📝 Dealing with those finicky cloves can feel like navigating a bureaucratic maze of paperwork, complete with the occasional garlic-scented paper cut. Who knew such small bulbs could be so demanding? 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️ #GarlicProblems #KitchenStruggles

clove, cooking, fresh, frustration, garlic, hate, humor, i, little, paperwork

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Shared recently on Twitch:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Freshly posted on X:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Spotted on WeChat:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Just landed via Slack:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Just landed via Messenger:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Just landed via Instagram:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Just landed via Discord:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

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