Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Seen just now on Discord:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Going viral on Slack:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Just shared via WeChat:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

2 months ago

0

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, fresh garlic – nature's way of saying, "I hope you like puzzles!" 🧄📝 Dealing with those finicky cloves can feel like navigating a bureaucratic maze of paperwork, complete with the occasional garlic-scented paper cut. Who knew such small bulbs could be so demanding? 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️ #GarlicProblems #KitchenStruggles

clove, cooking, fresh, frustration, garlic, hate, humor, i, little, paperwork

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

0

2 months ago

clapping, clapping emoji, comment, death, emoji, family, fun, games, hands, media, mistake, news, prayer, prayer hands, send, social, social media
Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

0

2 months ago

conversations, explanations, good, humor, i, morning, relationship, routine, saying, sleep, straight, wife
Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

0

2 months ago

35, age, age 35, best, borrow, borrow womb, friend, friendship, gay, gay best friend, girl, girls, humor, love, relationship, womb
My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

0

2 months ago

finance, humor, investment, IPO, jar, joke, money, soon, swear, swear jar
Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

0

2 months ago

doll, forehead, forehead kiss, funny request, give, great, humor, joke, kiss, little, magic, midsection, playful, request, stuffing, take, voodoo, voodoo doll
Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

0

4 weeks ago

ahead, anywhere, change, change of plan, doing, doing nothing, enjoy, event, humor, i, invitation, invite, know, last, last minute, me, minute, need, needs, nothing, plan, preparation, procrastination, social, social event, spontaneity, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

81 shares on Discord this month:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

92 shares on X this month:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,521

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Live now on Slack:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Just shared via Facebook:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Breaking via WeChat:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Trending via WeChat:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Making waves on Discord:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

They expect me to work at work.

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