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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

25 minutes ago

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“She’s so self-centered.” Who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Spotted on YouTube:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Making waves on WeChat:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Just shared via Messenger:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Just landed via Instagram:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Trending via Facebook:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Going viral on Instagram:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Live now on Snapchat:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Spotted on Instagram:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

6 months ago

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

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Commentary:
"Communication is like a rollercoaster ride with me – buckle up and hold on tight because even I don't know where this sentence is going! 🎢😂 Let's embark on this wild linguistic journey together, discovering the meaning as it unfolds! 🤔🎉"

ask, both, clarity, communication, confused, confusion, hate, here, humor, i, idea, insight, irony, learning, listen, me, meant, nonsense, people, same, say, something, time, understanding, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

25 minutes ago

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Making waves on YouTube:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Just landed via WeChat:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Going viral on Facebook:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

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