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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Just shared via WeChat:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Just shared via Facebook:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Going viral on TikTok:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

2 weeks ago

Funny quote about shared confusion and unclear intentions, playful and relatable tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Communication is like a rollercoaster ride with me – buckle up and hold on tight because even I don't know where this sentence is going! 🎢😂 Let's embark on this wild linguistic journey together, discovering the meaning as it unfolds! 🤔🎉"

ask, both, clarity, communication, confused, confusion, hate, here, humor, i, idea, insight, irony, learning, listen, me, meant, nonsense, people, same, say, something, time, understanding, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

65 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever watched the teams you hate be first-round exits?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Going viral on Slack:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Making waves on Slack:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Spotted on WeChat:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Just landed via Discord:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

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