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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Just landed via Discord:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Just landed via Snapchat:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Trending via Telegram:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Going bananas on X:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Going bananas on Discord:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Just landed via Discord:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

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I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.
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Commentary:
"Communication is like a rollercoaster ride with me – buckle up and hold on tight because even I don't know where this sentence is going! 🎢😂 Let's embark on this wild linguistic journey together, discovering the meaning as it unfolds! 🤔🎉"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

74 shares on X this month:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

78 shares on X this month:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They should name a personality disorder after me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Live now on X:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Trending via Messenger:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Going viral on Instagram:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Coffee is just goth water.

Making waves on TikTok:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

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