Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,605

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Going viral on Slack:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Breaking via Slack:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Going bananas on Discord:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Making waves on Discord:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

1 month ago

Humorous text about the noisy struggle of retrieving a pan in the morning.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to ninja your way to that pan in the morning? 🥋🍳 Sounds like the cabinet is having a laugh at your expense! Maybe it's time for a stealth mission or just accept that the clatter is your wake-up call! ⏰🤷‍♂️ #MorningStruggles

cabinet, humor, i, kitchen, morning, noise, pan, quiet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Slack this month:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

25 shares on Slack this month:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent someone who holds me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Spreading quickly via X:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

Just landed via TikTok:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Making waves on X:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Breaking via Messenger:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Making waves on Telegram:

You don’t read Dostoevsky. You survive him.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Breaking via X:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

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