Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,605

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Shared recently on Slack:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Live now on YouTube:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Making waves on YouTube:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like the weekdays are just practicing for the weekends! 😂 Better schedule that coffee break in advance! ☕️#JustWingingIt"

busy, busy day, day, humor, i, much, overthinking, planning, procrastination, thinking, tired, today, yesterday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

3 months ago

appointment, dentist, frustration, hate, humor, mouth, nap, open, sleep, take, trying
I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

4 months ago

3, after, afternoon, Friday, Fridays, humor, mood, niceness, nicer, personality, time
In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

2 months ago

asked, boss, communication, effort, employees, everyone, humor, keep, me, morale, motivated, motivation, office, stop, stop talking, talking, workplace
I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

2 months ago

advice, complete, free, free advice, growth, here, humor, i, inspirational, inspirational quote, irony, just, life, life advice, people, personal, personal growth, self-help, train, train wreck, wreck
Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

5 months ago

camera, camera roll, chore, cleaning, clutter, digital, digital clutter, ever, procrastination, roll
I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

2 months ago

5, day, exaggeration, having, humor, life, life struggle, long time, rough, rough day, sarcasm, struggle, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

35 shares on Slack this month:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

75 shares on Threads this month:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Going bananas on Facebook:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨