Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.
  • I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.
  • My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.
  • I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.
  • If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?
  • The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.