Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Embracing the unconventional happily-ever-afters, our dreamer sets the bar high by aiming to star in a twisted fairy tale where the wolf plays the leading role 🐺. Talk about taking a bite out of life! 🌟📚 #FairyTaleGoals"

dark, dark humor, eaten, ending, expectation, fairy tale, fairytale, fantasy, humor, i, irony, plan, still, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking, wolf

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

0

2 months ago

am, attraction, crush, eyes, flirting, humor, humor quote, i, joke, officer, playful, police, reason, romance, witty
How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

0

2 months ago

crisis, cult, direction, existential, existential crisis, humor, i, life, need, recruitment, self-help
Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

0

5 months ago

anyone, class, education, enough, here, high, high school, humor, memory, nostalgia, old, remember, school, technology, typing
I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

0

2 months ago

away, dreams, escape, humor, i, imagination, murder, plan, silly, wake
That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

0

2 months ago

compliment, flirtation, humor, kind, little, playful, quirky, sexy, weird
My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

0

4 months ago

city, city life, daily, daily routine, entertainment, family, hard, humor, i, knife, life, musical, NYC, routine, southern, southern family, stabbed, stabbing, stereotype, try, wake

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Facebook this month:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

47 shares on Discord this month:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

43 shares on Discord this month:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

80 shares on Discord this month:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

43 shares on X this month:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

12 shares on X this month:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Can I come over and figure you out?

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Just shared via X:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Breaking via Instagram:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Making waves on Twitch:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Spotted on Discord:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Seen just now on Slack:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Live now on LinkedIn:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨