Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Embracing the unconventional happily-ever-afters, our dreamer sets the bar high by aiming to star in a twisted fairy tale where the wolf plays the leading role 🐺. Talk about taking a bite out of life! 🌟📚 #FairyTaleGoals"

dark, dark humor, eaten, ending, expectation, fairy tale, fairytale, fantasy, humor, i, irony, plan, still, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking, wolf

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

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2 months ago

achievement, age, aging, am, balance, climbing, comedy, confidence, daily, daily life, feeling, good, got, here, humor, humor about aging, i, leg, life, life perspective, losing, myself, people, perspective, relatability, self-deprecation, skydiving, through, underwear
When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

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2 months ago

always, door, doorbell, funny observation, home, humor, i, jacket, just, leave, observation, rings, situation, social, social situation, visitor, want
Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

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2 months ago

activity, cake, ever, humor, jump, party, question, surprise
I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

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2 months ago

analogy, anxious, back, deep, depth, humor, i, inside, layers, myself, onion, peel, personality, self-perception, smaller, think
They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

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2 months ago

appliance, curiosity, dishwasher, humor, i, invention, kitchen, know, need, window
Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

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2 months ago

4, duration, humor, minutes, Monday, months, over, perception, Saturday, Sunday, time, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

65 shares on Discord this month:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

90 shares on X this month:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

100 shares on Discord this month:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

68 shares on Discord this month:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

28 shares on Discord this month:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I need a break from me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Going bananas on WeChat:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Trending via WhatsApp:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Just landed via Instagram:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Making waves on X:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨