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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Just landed via Twitch:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Shared recently on X:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Just shared via Messenger:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Making waves on TikTok:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Just shared via Messenger:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Going viral on YouTube:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Making waves on Messenger:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

2 months ago

0

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of hoarding in the digital age! Screenshots meticulously filed away like buried treasure, just waiting for that 'Aha!' moment 📸💻 Don't worry, I'm pretty sure your husband's collection of old cords will come in handy too… one day 🤣🔌 #TechLife #DigitalPackRat"

away, comparison, cords, day, humor, husband, i, keep, need, old, organization, preparedness, screenshot, storage

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

0

2 months ago

alone, backwards, boy, healing, home, home alone, humor, loving, men, perspective, story, watch
“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

0

2 months ago

autism, exist, guy, guys, hardware, hardware store, humor, met, misunderstanding, old, old guy, perception, store, stores, work
The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

0

2 months ago

chaos, confess, crush, humor, love, relationship, spontaneity, world
Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

0

2 months ago

black, black sheep, family, honor, humor, i, identity, play, role, sarcasm, sheep
I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

0

2 months ago

battery, chaos, Christmas, family, forgetting, hell, humor, i, morning, sound, still, toys
I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

0

2 months ago

bed, dangerously, edge, foot, humor, i, life, live, living, living life, night, over, risk, sticking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

45 shares on X this month:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

46 shares on Discord this month:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

54 shares on X this month:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,670

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Trending via Threads:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Trending via Reddit:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Making waves on Telegram:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

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