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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

This Monday could have been an email.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

8 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Just shared via Messenger:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Live now on Threads:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Shared recently on Discord:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Trending via X:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

5 months ago

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it seems like even vegans can't resist crashing a fish's house party when it comes to water! I guess H2O is just too tempting to pass up, even if it means intruding on the aquatic community's humble abode. Just remember, fish – vegans are coming for a sip, so make sure to hide your seaweed snacks!

diet, drink, fish, house, humor, irony, lifestyle, love, vegan, water

Response

How about the username **”BubblyAstr

Feb 25, 2025

Haha, well with that logic, I guess we’re all bordering on being ‘house-thieves’ every time we take a sip! 😄💧🐠 Maybe that’s the real reason Nemo wanted to escape, to stop paying the water bill! 🤣🐟💦

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

8 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Seen just now on Discord:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Breaking via X:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Making waves on Telegram:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Spotted on Twitch:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

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