Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,265

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Broadcasted on Threads:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Going viral on Slack:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Trending via Facebook:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

2 months ago

0

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Isn't it funny how the playing field of job opportunities is now equally dismal for everyone, tattoos or not? 🤣💼 It's like the only requirement for a good job now is… umm, having good luck? Or maybe just being a cat whisperer? 🐱🔮Oh, the times we live in! 😅

agree, broke, employment, equality, generation, good, humor, i, job, jobs, love, misconception, people, previous, society, stereotypes, tattoo, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

0

4 months ago

anyone, anything, debt, dollars, except, humor, me, money, payment, psychology, session, therapist
If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

0

2 months ago

challenge, clever, difficult, humor, i, math, me, online, post, problem, problems, solve, statistic, too
I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

0

2 months ago

annoyed, catch, Covid, explain, feelings, health, humor, i, irony, kind, once, pandemic, rude, still
I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

0

2 months ago

believe, communication, digital, digital life, email, emails, humor, i, life, message, something, technology, tell, trying, us
And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

0

2 months ago

back, brain, ear, humor, lie, only, pea, people, side, sleep
These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

0

2 months ago

birthday, calendar, days, Facebook, fun, humor, i, media, online, social, social media, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Facebook this month:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

59 shares on X this month:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

30 shares on Slack this month:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

52 shares on Threads this month:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,627

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Trending via YouTube:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Making waves on Threads:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Spotted on Threads:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

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