I need money, not feelings.
I need money, not feelings.

Commentary:
“Who needs to be showered with affection when you can be showered with dollar bills? Money talks, feelings whisper… quietly in the corner.”

, , , , , , , , , , ,
New funny quotes →
Follow us on X →
Follow us on Facebook →
Follow us on Pinterest →

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew that bathrooms were the mastermind behind the whole gender debate? 🚽💰 Don’t be fooled, folks, it’s all a ploy to push more porcelain thrones our way! 😂 #BathroomConspiracy”

  • There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, the eternal debate between the vampire hunters and the vampire gatherers! 🦇 While the hunters are out there with their stakes and garlic, the gatherers are happily inviting blood-sucking creatures to tea parties. ☕️ Who knew the undead could be so picky about who they hang out with? 🧛‍♂️ #TeamGatherers #LifeOfTheParty”

  • I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

    Commentary:
    “Setting two alarms is a great plan, unless ‘The Real Me’ decides to hit snooze on both! 🕰️😴 Good intentions vs. reality – the eternal battle of the morning routine! ⏰😂”

  • Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

    Commentary:
    “Seriously, why didn’t we think of this sooner? 🎨💅 Let’s turn those toes into tiny masterpieces – it’s time for some toe graffeeti! Who needs a canvas when you’ve got toenails, right? 😂 #ToeArt #GraffeetiGlam”

  • I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

    Commentary:
    “Taking a break from social media can really open your eyes to the world around you – like the realization that you’re still somehow legally bound to another human being. Who knew that scrolling through endless cat videos could distract you from checking in on your own love life?”

  • My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

    Commentary:
    “Well, would you look at that! A fully charged watch battery means it’s time to tackle the day…or maybe just waste it scrolling through cat memes. 😂⌚️ #Priorities”