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Commentary:
Oh, the savagery! 🙈🤣 Looks like someone's sense of humor is as sharp as their memory! 🧠🤭 Just imagine the hilarity of selective amnesia in social situations! 😆👀 #Burnnnnn 🔥

comedy, exception, face, forget, humor, i, insult, joke, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

0

4 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, dating, getting, getting the ick, ick, moment, peeve, pet, pet peeve, put, rate, windshield, windshield wiper, wiper
I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

0

2 months ago

clear, company, fruits, humor, i, idea, irony, making, medicine, taste, think
“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

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4 weeks ago

craving, dessert, food, heart, humor, i, sweet, sweet tooth, table, temptation, tooth, walk, wants, whisper
Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

0

2 months ago

ask, exercise, fitness, humor, me, most, people, question, questions, sarcasm, shoulder, shoulder workout, shrug, workout
For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

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2 months ago

birthday, delete, everyone, expired, head, humor, i, joke, me, old, old version, self-deprecating, self-improvement, version, want, whatever
I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

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5 months ago

binge, binge-watching, control, fingerprint, fingerprints, humor, i, law, Law and Order, much, order, remote, remote control, turn, TV, watch, watching, wipe

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

53 shares on X this month:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

78 shares on Threads this month:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨