Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2130 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,292

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,292

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Making waves on Slack:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Going viral on Facebook:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Reported on Telegram:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Making waves on Facebook:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs an alarm clock when nature's calling, right? 🚽⏰ Age comes with its own wake-up call! 🤣 #GettingOldBeLike

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2130 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,292

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,292

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Just landed via Slack:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Just shared via Reddit:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Just landed via Discord:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Making waves on Twitch:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Spotted on Twitch:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴