Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Just shared via Twitch:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Just shared via Pinterest:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Seen just now on WeChat:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Seen just now on X:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Dyslexia never looked so good 😎🔡❤️

dyslexic, humor, i, pun, put, sexy, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

0

2 months ago

America, dealer, drug, drug dealer, education, humor, irony, metric, metric system, shoutout, system, teaching
People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

0

2 months ago

arguing, argument, coming, face, humor, January, just, keep, month, next, over, people, punch, sarcasm, someone, stop, wishing, worst, year
As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

0

2 months ago

better, clinic, humor, joke, mayo, place, sandwich, sick, sounds, still, wordplay
Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

0

2 months ago

challenge, drinking, dry, Dry January, even, humor, i, January, laugh, month, people, worse, worst, worst month, year
Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

0

3 weeks ago

game, games, gaming, having, humor, i, live, love, man, reason, reason to live, shoutout, video, video game
It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

0

2 months ago

engagement, frustration, humor, media, metrics, need, popularity, social, social media, ten, views

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on YouTube this month:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

75 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

22 shares on Threads this month:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Spotted on WeChat:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Broadcasted on Discord:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Making waves on TikTok:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Trending via YouTube:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Breaking via Telegram:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Trending via TikTok:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Breaking via Slack:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨