I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

41 shares on Reddit this month:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.