I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.