Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.
  • One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.
  • Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.
  • People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.
  • That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.
  • Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.