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Commentary:
"Looks like the remote control just became the most important utensil at this table! 📺🍴 Who needs to taste food when you can feast your eyes on some quality entertainment, right? Bon appétit and good luck with your TV menu selection! 😄"

bite, distraction, eating, entertainment, food, good, humor, i, priorities, procrastination, refuse, single, something, take, TV

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

2 months ago
bag, chocolate, confidence, delicious, humor, self-control, snack, temptation
Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

1 month ago
celine, Celine Dion, dion, fact, farm, fun, fun fact, humor, lyrics, mcdonald, name, old, Old McDonald, vowels
They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

4 months ago
anyone, appropriation, cultural, cultural appropriation, culture, dog, else, gender, gender reveal, got, humor, i, invited, joke, just, own, party, people, reveal, say, white, white culture
I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

1 month ago
eye, eyes, heat, humor, i, ID, just, laser, laser eye, lazy, something, soup, superhero, too
They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

1 month ago
40, 50, age, having, humor, new, perception, police, say, time, traffic, traffic police
Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

1 month ago
app, apps, best, communication, dating, dating app, good, humor, media, meeting, place, social, social media, soulmate, tweet

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Breaking via Telegram:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Trending via Instagram:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Shared recently on Discord:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

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Activity Log ✨

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Muting morons is good for your health.

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

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I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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