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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,529

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Going viral on Reddit:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Going viral on Instagram:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Making waves on Threads:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Just landed via Instagram:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Going viral on Threads:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Playful quote about holiday chaos with Mary, Joseph, and Wise Men distracted by phones.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like even the Holy Family and the Wise Men can't resist scrolling through their timeline! 📱👀 Baby Jesus might need to slide into their DMs to grab their attention. 😂 #ModernNativity #TechSavvyWiseMen

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Slack this month:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

About to form my very first opinion.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Occupation: the ugly friend!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,535

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Spotted on YouTube:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Just landed via Pinterest:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Just landed via Instagram:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Spotted on Slack:

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Shared recently on Threads:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

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