Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.
  • I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.
  • It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.
  • You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.
  • I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.
  • My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.