I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Commentary:
"Ah, the good old days when eating a slice of cake felt like a workout for your metabolism 🍰πŸ’ͺ Now, it seems like even the mere *thought* of food makes the scale jump up! πŸ”πŸš« #ForkResistance"