Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the good old days when eating a slice of cake felt like a workout for your metabolism 🍰💪 Now, it seems like even the mere *thought* of food makes the scale jump up! 🍔🚫 #ForkResistance"

age, diet, eat, eating, food, fork, gain, gaining, humor, i, pounds, struggle, used, wanted, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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55 shares on Reddit this month:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

51 shares on Discord this month:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

97 shares on X this month:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Going viral on Telegram:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Trending via Threads:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Breaking via WeChat:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Spreading quickly via X:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Breaking via Telegram:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Keep the laugh going 😂

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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