Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.
  • Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.
  • Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.
  • I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.
  • Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.
  • The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.