Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Spreading quickly via X:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Going viral on Facebook:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a spotless house when you can binge-watch cleaning videos instead? 🧹✨ Procrastination level: expert! 😅 #Priorities"

ambition, clean, cleaning, house, humor, i, procrastination, thought, today, watch, whole, woman, YouTube

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

0

4 months ago

architect, experience, gap, hell, humor, i, oh, own, resume, self-deprecation, work, work experience
Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

0

2 months ago

before, facial, facial recognition, forgetfulness, humor, interaction, me, memory, people, recognition, social, social interaction, talking, technology
Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

0

2 months ago

chop, chopping, cooking, crispy, delicious, food, foreplay, great, humor, i, joke, oven, peel, peeling, pieces, roast, roasting, where
Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

0

2 months ago

activity, advice, angel, dog, dog park, fun, funny advice, humor, never, outdoor, outdoor activity, park, pet, pet humor, pro, pro-tip, snow, snow angel, tip, winter, winter fun
“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

0

2 months ago

Batman, Batman Forever, ever, forever, funny observation, humor, kiss, Kiss From a Rose, most, movie, movie quote, nostalgia, observation, romantic, romantic movie, rose, think
At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, awkward, awkward moment, conversation, humor, i, introvert, just, moment, myself, self-checkout, shopping, shut, small, small talk, social, social anxiety, talk, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

47 shares on Threads this month:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

91 shares on Discord this month:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

30 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Just shared via Slack:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Going viral on Slack:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time.

Going viral on Threads:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Freshly posted on Slack:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨