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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,414

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Trending via WeChat:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Breaking via Reddit:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a spotless house when you can binge-watch cleaning videos instead? 🧹✨ Procrastination level: expert! 😅 #Priorities"

ambition, clean, cleaning, house, humor, i, procrastination, thought, today, watch, whole, woman, YouTube

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

0

2 months ago

anyone, best, entertainment, follow, follower, fun, good, humor, literally, media, need, social, social media, thing, TikTok, time, video
Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, bottle, butterfly, chugging, coping, coping mechanism, drinking, feel, humor, i, mechanism, nervousness, next, tequila, time
“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

0

2 months ago

communication, cue, humor, invitation, keep, let, me, polite, sarcasm, social, social cue, translation
That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, confusion, conversation, humor, idea, interaction, just, misunderstanding, moment, social, social interaction, times
I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

0

2 months ago

food, humor, i, megabite, megabyte, never, regret, taste, technology, wasted
People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

0

2 months ago

bullet, catch, challenge, humor, joke, people, practice, skill, teeth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

87 shares on X this month:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

83 shares on Discord this month:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

70 shares on Discord this month:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Just landed via Telegram:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Going bananas on Slack:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨