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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,962

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Trending via Discord:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Spotted on WeChat:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Breaking via Discord:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Just shared via Messenger:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Just shared via Slack:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

2 months ago

0

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the mystery of laundry time estimation! 🤔🕒 It's like our washing machines are out there playing a little game of hide and seek with us! "Oh, you thought I'd be done in 10 minutes? Surprise, it's actually 30!" 🎉 Just come clean with us, washing machine, we can handle the truth – and maybe a few extra minutes. 😉🧺 #LaundryDrama

chores, feel, fine, frustration, honesty, household, humor, i, just, know, left, let, lie, machine, me, much, need, never, time, understand, washing, washing machine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

0

2 months ago

beauty, comment, eye, eyes, funny comment, humor, itchy, itchy eye, joke, makeup, mascara, smoky, smoky eye
This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, bring, celebration, family, holiday, humor, i, last, shame, Thanksgiving, tradition, year
There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

0

2 months ago

body, body positivity, dying, fat, fat man, get out, humor, inside, man, me, positivity, self-image
I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

0

2 months ago

animal, diagnose, diagnosis, googled, humor, i, internet, know, quirky, raccoon, self, self diagnose, sure, symptoms
Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

0

1 month ago

appearance, behavior, clothes, dog, funny observation, home, homeless, humor, knows, leaving, nice, observation, only, pet, pet behavior, put
If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

0

4 months ago

cooking, heart, intuition, just, meal, much, non-baking, pretty, pure, pure heart, vibe, vibes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

37 shares on Facebook this month:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I will sit in the rain about this.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,685

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Just shared via X:

I need a break from me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Live now on Snapchat:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

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