Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

35 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Spotted on TikTok:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Spotted on Threads:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Making waves on Threads:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Live now on Messenger:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Freshly posted on Threads:

This meeting could have been a cake.

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

6 months ago

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the mystery of laundry time estimation! 🤔🕒 It's like our washing machines are out there playing a little game of hide and seek with us! "Oh, you thought I'd be done in 10 minutes? Surprise, it's actually 30!" 🎉 Just come clean with us, washing machine, we can handle the truth – and maybe a few extra minutes. 😉🧺 #LaundryDrama

chores, feel, fine, frustration, honesty, household, humor, i, just, know, left, let, lie, machine, me, much, need, never, time, understand, washing, washing machine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

35 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Trending via Pinterest:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Shared recently on X:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Just shared via Snapchat:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Freshly posted on Threads:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴