Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

357 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,626

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,626

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Breaking via Telegram:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Just landed via Instagram:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Live now on X:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Just shared via Slack:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Making waves on Reddit:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Breaking via Slack:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Are you gonna call me beautiful today, or do I need to go to the gas station?

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a hot idea—time to get groovy and bubbly! 🕺✨💡

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Threads this month:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

86 shares on X this month:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

70 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

357 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,626

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,626

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Just shared via Instagram:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Making waves on Reddit:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Making waves on Instagram:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Making waves on Facebook:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

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