Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

People will say “sounds good” at work when things don’t sound good at all.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Trending via Messenger:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Shared recently on YouTube:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Spotted on Instagram:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Live now on Instagram:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Breaking via WeChat:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Making waves on WeChat:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Live now on Telegram:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Funny thought about swimming through a pool of mashed potatoes with playful curiosity.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, that would be quite the starch-tacular challenge! 🏊‍♂️ Just imagine the creamy strokes and gravy turns you'd have to master. 💪 Swim-a-licious or mash madness, you decide! 🥔 #SpudtasticAdventure

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on YouTube this month:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

62 shares on Discord this month:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

98 shares on Threads this month:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Live now on Messenger:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Just landed via Telegram:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Making waves on WeChat:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Seen just now on Slack:

I love it when God gives me money.

Spotted on Discord:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

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