Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.
  • The Jaws theme stays on during sex.
  • You’re so productive for your wage.
  • On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.
  • My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
  • Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.