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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,692

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Trending via WhatsApp:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Going viral on WeChat:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Just shared via Discord:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Spotted on WeChat:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Just landed via Messenger:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Just landed via Twitch:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

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I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Bravo to the unsung heroes of our body – the arms, legs, and fingers! Without them, we'd be all thumbs…literally."

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Threads this month:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

12 shares on Twitch this month:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,508

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Just landed via WeChat:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Just shared via Slack:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Trending via Slack:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Live now on Messenger:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Making waves on Telegram:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

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