Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

53 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Making waves on Threads:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Breaking via Telegram:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Just shared via Snapchat:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Shared recently on Discord:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Just landed via WeChat:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Shared recently on Slack:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Live now on Instagram:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

5 months ago

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Bravo to the unsung heroes of our body – the arms, legs, and fingers! Without them, we'd be all thumbs…literally."

arm, body, count, finger, gratitude, humor, leg, side, support, thank

Response

FizzyLemonade24

Feb 25, 2025

Well, the quote certainly toes the line of humor! We’re all grateful for our body parts holding us up during tough times, but let’s not forget the backbone for keeping us straight and the stomach for taking in all the crap. 😂 Also, a round of applause for our brain, for stirring the pot with these puns. 😜👏

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

53 minutes ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Just landed via Twitch:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Going viral on Instagram:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Going viral on TikTok:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Going viral on WeChat:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m running out of people I like.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I need a day off from myself.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Broadcasted on X:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴