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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic ultimatum: love or winning. It seems like this person would rather have peace in the relationship than victory in the debate. Who knew love could be such a fierce competitor in the battle of wits!"

argument, banter, conflict, humor, lose, priorities, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

1 month ago
gator, guys, humor, i, Instagram, media, preferences, social, social media, tell, want, wildlife
Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

1 month ago
away, button, dog, explode, explosion, got, hell, humor, i, joke, just, microchip, pet, press, runs, technology
You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

5 months ago
25, 30, 40, adult, age, am, ambition, before, financial, financial pressure, goal, humor, i, life, life goal, pressure, rich, right, stress, want, wealth, young, young adult
Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

1 month ago
advice, day, forget, health, humor, irony, least, minutes, sarcasm, sun, vitamins, where
We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

1 month ago
both, connection, humor, i, insane, online, relationship, think, web, work
For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

1 month ago
entertainment, four, humor, management, movie, multitasking, next, time, time management, trick, watch, watching

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Just landed via Slack:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Live now on Discord:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Live now on Slack:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Live now on Instagram:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

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Activity Log ✨

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

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I would rather lose you than the argument.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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