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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✹

Someone from đŸ‡±đŸ‡§ has shared:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Someone from đŸ‡čđŸ‡± has bookmarked:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Someone from đŸ‡ČđŸ‡Œ has bookmarked:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇾🇼 has bookmarked:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from 🇿đŸ‡Č has copied:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Someone from đŸ‡Ș🇬 has shared:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Someone from đŸ‡ș🇩 has viewed:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from đŸ‡ČđŸ‡» has copied:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Funny Quotes Data đŸ€“

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760 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,922

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13,890

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10,922

Updated

35 minutes ago

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Social Media Log đŸ’«

Making waves on Instagram:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Trending via Twitch:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Spotted on Slack:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Just shared via X:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Just shared via WeChat:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.
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Commentary:
Absolutely! Here's a lighthearted response for you: đŸ‘¶ "I like to think of myself as a 'long child' – adulting with a side of silliness and a dash of playfulness! Who says growing up has to be boring?" đŸ˜„đŸŒ

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Welcome to Wordgag! đŸ˜‰âœŒïž Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. đŸ˜‚đŸ’„

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Funny Quotes Data đŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

760 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,922

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,922

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

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Activity Log ✹

Someone from đŸ‡Č🇭 has bookmarked:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Someone from 🇼🇳 has viewed:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Someone from đŸ‡ČđŸ‡Ÿ has viewed:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from đŸ‡±đŸ‡ž has shared:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from đŸ‡ŻđŸ‡” has shared:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from đŸ‡”đŸ‡Ș has downloaded:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Someone from 🇿🇩 has downloaded:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Someone from đŸ‡«đŸ‡Č has shared:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Someone from 🇬đŸ‡Ș has viewed:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Social Media Log đŸ’«

Just shared via YouTube:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Making waves on Discord:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Going viral on Telegram:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Trending via WeChat:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Seen just now on Slack:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Just landed via Slack:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Trending via TikTok:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Just landed via Reddit:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

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