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Commentary:
"Life tip: Ducking your head in a parking garage not only saves your cranium but also prevents your car from growing wings and attempting a rooftop rendezvous 🚗🚧 #KeepItLowAndSlow"

car, ceiling, drive, driving, duck, garage, head, humor, i, keep, parking

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94 shares on Reddit this month:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

92 shares on Threads this month:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

At least life has music.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Trending via Threads:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Breaking via Reddit:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Seen just now on YouTube:

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Just landed via Instagram:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

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If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

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Wordgag ツ

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If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Keep the laugh going 😂

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

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