Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,315

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Making waves on Facebook:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Shared recently on Discord:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Trending via Discord:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Just shared via Twitch:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Trending via Reddit:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Trending via Pinterest:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
"If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I'd probably just spend it on more bacon 🥓. After all, why let haters ruin a good bacon-filled moment when you can savor that sizzle instead! 💁‍♂️ #BaconOverBullies"

bacon, dollar, every, fat, food, humor, i, ID, just, me, money, self-deprecation, someone, spend, spending, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

52 shares on Threads this month:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

63 shares on Discord this month:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The biggest difference between my toddler and me is that if I had poop on my butt, that’d be priority #1.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Going bananas on X:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Going viral on Twitch:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Trending via Snapchat:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Spotted on YouTube:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Trending via Messenger:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Breaking via TikTok:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

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