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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

4,015

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Making waves on Instagram:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Going viral on Threads:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Just landed via YouTube:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

2 months ago

0

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I'd probably just spend it on more bacon 🥓. After all, why let haters ruin a good bacon-filled moment when you can savor that sizzle instead! 💁‍♂️ #BaconOverBullies"

bacon, dollar, every, fat, food, humor, i, ID, just, me, money, self-deprecation, someone, spend, spending, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

0

2 months ago

awareness, battle, battles, communication, everyone, except, fighting, humor, just, know, neighbor, shut, silence, struggles, talking
I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

0

2 months ago

finish, full, God, humor, i, kind, me, procrastination, relate, self-deprecation, something, still, sucks, week
Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

0

2 months ago

being, humor, i, job, just, kindness, paid, payment, sarcasm, sweetheart, wish
A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, area, bar, beer, developer, drink, drinking, drinks, expert, humor, nightclub, nightlife, place, place to drink, places, pub, seo, SEO expert, tavern, walk, web, web developer
I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

0

2 months ago

character, even, humor, i, irony, love, narrative, perspective, someone, story, tell, version, villain
Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

0

2 months ago

accessory, fashion, gift, gift shop, humor, irony, necklace, perfect, shark, shark tooth, shop, tell, tooth, tough, want, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Discord this month:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

28 shares on Threads this month:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,733

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Shared recently on Threads:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Going viral on YouTube:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Making waves on X:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Trending via Threads:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

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