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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2060 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,222

Funny Quotes Topics

14,968

Funny Quotes Images

12,222

21 seconds ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Just shared via WeChat:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Shared recently on Discord:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Making waves on Threads:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Going viral on Slack:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Seen just now on WeChat:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

6 months ago

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

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Commentary:
"If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean it. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood – because who needs luck when you've got wealthy neighbors to share the riches with? 💸🤑🏘️ #SpreadTheWealth"

around, broke, friendship, humor, i, lottery, me, mean, money, move, neighborhood, relocation, truly, wealth, wealthy, win

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2060 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,222

Funny Quotes Topics

14,968

Funny Quotes Images

12,222

21 seconds ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Reported on Messenger:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Just shared via Twitch:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Shared recently on Discord:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Just landed via Pinterest:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Making waves on WeChat:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Reported on Twitch:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Going viral on WeChat:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Going viral on Telegram:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

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