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Commentary:
"Ah, the universal truth of parenting: if it ain't broken, that just means the kids haven't gotten their adorable little hands on it yet! 🤹‍♂️🤡 #ParentingProblems #KidsWillBeKids"

broke, humor, kids, parenting, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

0

2 months ago

consequence, domestic, domestic life, doorbell, electrician, electrocution, fixing, got, hear, hearing, hearing thoughts, humor, i, life, mishap, relationship, should, thinking, thoughts, unexpected, unexpected consequence, while
Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

0

2 months ago

call, calling, calling off, hours, humor, management, procrastination, time, time management, work
Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

0

4 months ago

humor, laundry, machine, minute, minutes, regular, same, time, washing, washing machine
When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

0

2 months ago

appointment, comfort, early, humor, i, late, leave, leaving, me, pajamas, party, say, social, someone
Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

0

5 months ago

best, cat, humor, name, pet, pet name, royalty
I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, bills, humor, i, me, miss, nostalgia, nothing, responsibility

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Slack this month:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

55 shares on X this month:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Seen just now on Messenger:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Going viral on Telegram:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Trending via TikTok:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Broadcasted on Slack:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Freshly posted on X:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Making waves on TikTok:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨