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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Spotted on YouTube:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Shared recently on Threads:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Making waves on Facebook:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Shared recently on TikTok:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Just landed via TikTok:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m addicted to placebos.

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

4 months ago

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive art of eavesdropping thwarted by considerate neighbors. How dare they deprive us of our daily dose of neighborhood drama! It's a real tragedy, really. Perhaps it's time to invest in a good pair of binoculars and a spy kit for optimal snooping efficiency."

conversation, eavesdrop, follow, humor, interaction, just, loud, neighbor, rude, social, social interaction, talk

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Just shared via Discord:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Reported on Instagram:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Shared recently on Slack:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Reported on Facebook:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Just shared via Slack:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Reported on Twitch:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Just shared via Slack:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

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