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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,672

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Shared recently on Slack:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Just landed via Reddit:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Trending via Snapchat:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Just shared via Slack:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Just shared via WeChat:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Going viral on Snapchat:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Going bananas on Reddit:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

1 week ago

Witty quote about neighbors' quietness ruining gossip, with a humorous, playful vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive art of eavesdropping thwarted by considerate neighbors. How dare they deprive us of our daily dose of neighborhood drama! It's a real tragedy, really. Perhaps it's time to invest in a good pair of binoculars and a spy kit for optimal snooping efficiency."

conversation, eavesdrop, follow, humor, interaction, just, loud, neighbor, rude, social, social interaction, talk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

26 shares on Threads this month:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Going viral on Reddit:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Seen just now on Facebook:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Spotted on X:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Making waves on YouTube:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Spotted on Messenger:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

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