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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,798

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Just shared via Twitch:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Breaking via Snapchat:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Making waves on Reddit:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Trending via Pinterest:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Spotted on Facebook:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Breaking via Telegram:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

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If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive art of eavesdropping thwarted by considerate neighbors. How dare they deprive us of our daily dose of neighborhood drama! It's a real tragedy, really. Perhaps it's time to invest in a good pair of binoculars and a spy kit for optimal snooping efficiency."

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

51 shares on Slack this month:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

26 shares on Threads this month:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: he escaped.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,718

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Making waves on Messenger:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Breaking via Threads:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Making waves on Messenger:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Just shared via YouTube:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Shared recently on X:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

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