Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Spotted on Reddit:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Going viral on Facebook:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Just shared via Instagram:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Spotted on Facebook:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Spotted on YouTube:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Breaking via Facebook:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Just shared via X:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Trending via Slack:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🚪😱 "If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted… or you just have really faulty hinges! Either way, it's time to call the ghostbusters or a handyman, just to be safe! 👻🛠️"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

77 shares on Discord this month:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

22 shares on X this month:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

30 shares on X this month:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,254

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Trending via Facebook:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Shared recently on Threads:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Spotted on YouTube:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Trending via Slack:

I probably think this song is about me.

Going viral on Threads:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

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