If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”