Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🚪😱 "If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted… or you just have really faulty hinges! Either way, it's time to call the ghostbusters or a handyman, just to be safe! 👻🛠️"

close, comedy, door, haunted, house, humor, open

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

1 week ago

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I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

2 weeks ago

cooking, eat, food, humor, hunger, hungry, i, joke, own, self-deprecation
The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

3 weeks ago

annoyance, bro, daily, daily grind, else, expectations, frustration, grind, humor, i, know, me, question, response, say, want, work, workplace
My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

3 weeks ago

casual, casual language, favorite, favorite part, grab, humor, i, language, leave, leaving, life, office, office humor, quitting, quitting time, shit, time, work, work life, workday
You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

6 days ago

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Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

2 weeks ago

adult, anxiety, being, difficult, fear, full, grown, humor, life, maturity, responsibility, terrible, trouble

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Going bananas on X:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Making waves on Instagram:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Making waves on Discord:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Just landed via Reddit:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Keep the laugh going 😂

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨