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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Spotted on Discord:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Spotted on X:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Trending via Twitch:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Talk about a holy 'missionary position'! 😂🙏📖"

brevity, Christianity, humor, joke, kama, Kama Sutra, page, religion, religious, religious satire, satire, sexuality, sutra

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

4 months ago
due, eat, eating, floor, food, humor, inflation, joke, seconds, time
He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

5 months ago
dance, excitement, expression, fun, humor, i, likes, shakalaka, slang
I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

1 month ago
conflict, favor, humor, humor about conflict, humorous, humorous quote, i, international, international relations, joke, political, political humor, relations, sarcasm, satire, war, war joke
Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

3 months ago
5, alcohol, drinking, drinks, explain, explanation, humor, intoxication, me
I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

1 month ago
car, coffee, coffee cup, cup, feeling, funny idea, humor, i, idea, interaction, lonely, me, morning, people, quirky行为, social, social interaction, top, wave
You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

5 months ago
behavior, communication, die, enough, humor, leaving, life, live, messaging, modern, modern life, people, people pleaser, pleaser, read, read receipt, receipt, social, social behavior, start, text, texts

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Just shared via Facebook:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Just landed via TikTok:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

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If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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