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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Just landed via Discord:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Just shared via Reddit:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Just landed via X:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Watching witches watch watches was a whimsical whirlwind! 👀🔮⌚️ Which witch wore which watch? It was a wrist-watching mystery only witches could weave! 🧙‍♀️🕰️✨"

, , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

16 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Making waves on X:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Trending via Discord:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Freshly posted on Threads:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

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