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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Making waves on Messenger:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Breaking via WeChat:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Just shared via Instagram:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Trending via Discord:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Breaking via X:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the bugs get too wild, go back to foraging for the non-digital kind! 🐛🔧🌿

career, career change, change, coding, gathering, humor, hunting, joke, tech, tech joke

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

0

2 months ago

afterlife, choice, climate, company, contrast, heaven, hell, humor, lifestyle, wit
Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

0

6 months ago

actually, astrology, demon, frustration, humor, Mercury, Mercury retrograde, midnight, retrograde, soul, wrap
Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

0

2 months ago

aging, biological, biological clock, biology, clock, egg, egg timer, humor, joke, metaphor, timer
Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

0

2 months ago

anything, assistance, broke, broke down, car, cars, driving, going, help, humor, i, irony, know, knowledge, relationships, stop, woman, women
It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

0

2 months ago

assumption, compliment, fault, humor, i, meant, misunderstanding, positive, said, sarcasm, stunning
I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

0

5 days ago

age, aging, before, conclusion, conclusions, humor, i, jumping, patience, warm, warm-up, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Threads this month:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

84 shares on Reddit this month:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

71 shares on Slack this month:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

64 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Just shared via X:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Trending via Snapchat:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Trending via Discord:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨