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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Aura is the real business card.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,379

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Shared recently on X:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a jungle safari when you've got a wild woman on a vitamin high! 🦁💊 Hold on tight, this ride is gonna be a wild one! 🎢😂"

dating, gulp, health, humor, i, just, looking, playful, spontaneity, vitamins, wild, wild woman, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

0

4 weeks ago

both, dead, driving, faster, frustration, here, honk, humor, i, impatience, just, me, parking, parking spot, rage, road, road rage, sit, someone, spot, stubbornness, traffic, us, waiting
Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

0

2 months ago

hug, humor, interaction, joke, me, next, punch, reaction, sarcasm, say, social, social interaction, someone, time
My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

0

3 weeks ago

AI, angel, app, apps, bad, bad luck, betting, distraction, generative, generative AI, guardian, guardian angel, happen, humor, letting, luck, me, sports, sports betting, technology, things, why
I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

0

2 months ago

actually, body, ever, friendship, help, hide, hope, humor, i, irony, need, people, vow
Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

0

3 months ago

application, ask, being, choose, employment, exploitation, humor, i, job, job application, job search, love, salary, search, work
I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

0

2 months ago

age, age difference, awkward, awkward moment, difference, Facebook, friend, friendship, hate, high, high school, i, man, me, media, moment, nostalgia, old, old man, realize, school, social, social media, together

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

21 shares on X this month:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Breaking via Instagram:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Trending via Discord:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Seen just now on WeChat:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Just landed via X:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Going bananas on TikTok:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Spotted on Facebook:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Breaking via Discord:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨