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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,701

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Just shared via Discord:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Seen just now on Messenger:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Trending via Reddit:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Just landed via Telegram:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Making waves on Twitch:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

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If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.
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Commentary:
"Who needs a jungle safari when you've got a wild woman on a vitamin high! 🦁💊 Hold on tight, this ride is gonna be a wild one! 🎢😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

15 shares on X this month:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

87 shares on X this month:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

64 shares on X this month:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when bills were none of my business.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,340

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Shared recently on Threads:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Freshly posted on X:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Just landed via Facebook:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Making waves on YouTube:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Trending via Slack:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

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