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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,933

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Freshly posted on Threads:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Trending via Facebook:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Going viral on YouTube:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Just landed via Facebook:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Who needs a jungle safari when you've got a wild woman on a vitamin high! 🦁💊 Hold on tight, this ride is gonna be a wild one! 🎢😂"

dating, gulp, health, humor, i, just, looking, playful, spontaneity, vitamins, wild, wild woman, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

1 month ago
animal, animal name, doggy, humor, joke, lion, name, sea, sea lion, soggy, soggy doggy, wordplay
I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

1 month ago
am, exhaustion, expired, humor, i, life, shelf, shelf life, think, tired, today, wit
I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

1 month ago
back, communication, expression, feel, feelings, holding, honesty, humor, i, media, opinion, people, social, social media, stop, tell, truth, us, wish
Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

1 month ago
frustration, Google, Google Maps, humor, maps, navigation, scream, screaming, should, start, technology, turn, wrong, wrong turn
Starting a new life today, bye.

4 months ago
fresh, fresh start, goodbye, humor, life, new, new life, short, short quote, start, starting, today
All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

1 month ago
cat, dog, fired, job, lazy, spend, think, time

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Going viral on Telegram:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Just shared via Pinterest:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Starting a new life today, bye.

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

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If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Starting a new life today, bye.

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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