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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

104 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,809

Funny Quotes Topics

15,440

Funny Quotes Images

12,809

45 minutes ago

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Shared recently on X:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Making waves on Reddit:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Seen just now on Slack:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Jan 26, 2025

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

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Commentary:
IKEA: the never-ending maze of stylish furniture and meatballs. 🛋️🍝 Once you enter, you might never find your way out… just like checking out from the Hotel California! 🛎️🏩 Don't be surprised if you start humming "Welcome to the IKEA California" on your never-ending furniture hunt! 🎶😄

analogy, california, furniture, hotel, Hotel California, humor, IKEA, shopping, store, stores

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New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

104 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,809

Funny Quotes Topics

15,440

Funny Quotes Images

12,809

45 minutes ago

3,472

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Spotted on X:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Freshly posted on X:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Spotted on TikTok:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Trending via Snapchat:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Spotted on Instagram:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

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