Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the three noble traits of a modern human: yapping for attention, napping for survival, and sneaking snacks at night like a stealthy ninja 🗣️💤🌙🍪 #LifeGoals"

activity, fun, humor, late, late night, midnight, napper, night, personality, snacker, yapper

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29 shares on Twitch this month:

If you think Dry January is hard, wait until you try Abstinence August.

24 shares on X this month:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

10 shares on Messenger this month:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

15 shares on X this month:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Spotted on Discord:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Going viral on Twitch:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Seen just now on Reddit:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Just landed via WeChat:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Trending via YouTube:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Trending via Messenger:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Trending via Slack:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

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Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

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Trending Topics 📁

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