I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Commentary:
Ah, the sweet liberation of house arrest – where the only ankle you need to monitor is the one kicking back on the sofa! 🏠⛓️ Embracing that stage in life where pajamas are the new power suits and Netflix is the ultimate escape plan. Who needs the great outdoors when you’ve got great indoors, am I right? 😉 #HomebodyGoals

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic ‘nap instead of snacks’ move! 🛏️😂 Who needs food when you can dream of a feast instead, right? 🍔💭 #SleepingThroughTheHunger”

  • Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew that mastering the art of gift wrapping would come with a fitness challenge? 🎁💪 Channeling our inner contortionist this holiday season! 😂 #giftwrappinggoals”

  • If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

    Commentary:
    Oh, so you’re an expert on relationships now, huh? Well, why aren’t you a millionaire, Mr./Ms. Relationship Guru? 💁‍♂️💰 Might need to update your resume to include “Love Doctor AND Financial Wizard”! 😉 #SavageResponses #SingleLifeBenefits

  • At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

    Commentary:
    Oh, I can already see it now – “The Chronicles of the Cubicle: The Mysterious Case of the Missing Lunches” 🔍🎬 Who knew office drama could be so riveting? Just wait for the dramatic reenactments and cliffhanger endings!

  • Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

    Commentary:
    “Dear Snapchat memory, please delete that ex-friend like you delete my embarrassing snaps! 🙅‍♂️📸 #ByeFelicia”

  • If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like they’ve mastered the art of cornering themselves! 🎨🤪 Maybe next, they’ll try sculpting their way out like Michelangelo did with David!”