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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,237

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Going viral on Facebook:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Shared recently on Slack:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Spotted on Threads:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Shared recently on Slack:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Trending via Pinterest:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Going viral on Twitch:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Live now on Twitch:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Going bananas on Facebook:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Seen just now on Reddit:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

2 months ago

0

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the sweet liberation of house arrest – where the only ankle you need to monitor is the one kicking back on the sofa! 🏠⛓️ Embracing that stage in life where pajamas are the new power suits and Netflix is the ultimate escape plan. Who needs the great outdoors when you've got great indoors, am I right? 😉 #HomebodyGoals

adulting, age, arrest, funny perspective, house, house arrest, humor, life, life stage, longer, perspective, sounds, stage, thing, where, worst, worst thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

0

2 months ago

change, climate, climate change, commentary, courage, everyone, gods, humor, irony, sacrifice, satire, social, social commentary, virgin
What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

0

2 months ago

again, believe, conversation, day, dog, going, humor, just, never, nobody, pet, randomness, surprise
Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

0

2 months ago

avoiding, exercise, humor, i, interaction, just, know, social, someone, steps
Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

0

6 months ago

beach, close, comfort, experience, feeling, human, nap, never, post, post-beach, relaxation, serenity, shower, throw, touch
There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

0

2 months ago

family, humor, movie, parents, rating, should, special, special system, system, uncomfortable, watch
50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

0

2 months ago

30, 50, age, buy, humor, inflation, life, money, new, perspective, used, value

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

19 shares on X this month:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,576

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Making waves on Telegram:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Breaking via Facebook:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Just shared via TikTok:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Spotted on Slack:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

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