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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2426 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,588

Funny Quotes Topics

15,259

Funny Quotes Images

12,588

48 minutes ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Trending via Slack:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Trending via Discord:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Spotted on Discord:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Just landed via Reddit:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Trending via Telegram:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Jan 27, 2025

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the sweet liberation of house arrest – where the only ankle you need to monitor is the one kicking back on the sofa! 🏠⛓️ Embracing that stage in life where pajamas are the new power suits and Netflix is the ultimate escape plan. Who needs the great outdoors when you've got great indoors, am I right? 😉 #HomebodyGoals

adulting, age, arrest, funny perspective, house, house arrest, humor, life, life stage, longer, perspective, sounds, stage, thing, where, worst, worst thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2426 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,588

Funny Quotes Topics

15,259

Funny Quotes Images

12,588

48 minutes ago

3,458

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Live now on Slack:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Spreading quickly via X:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Live now on Slack:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Trending via Telegram:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Going viral on WeChat:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

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